My first memory, it is her voice, and she whispers my name...this was my awakening.

~

Why I was so trusting of them I will never understand. They taught me not to be of others, but revered in my so doing with them. Early on, my Master and Mistress began my training, to excel in the deliverance of Death. Harrowing disciplines were my reward for a child's tears. I cannot say that I did not learn quickly.

My world consisted of constant training. I would rise before dawn's light to run along the walls of the compound, dragging my chains that bound me to my Master's Realm. I had not want to escape, for this was my home, I knew nothing else. I would run until the sun was high, learning not to tire quickly from over exertion.

After which, Mistress Setsuke would bring me to the arena and teach me loyalty and obedience, to be demonstrated before the eyes of all slaves. My chains were stretched across the arena, and I standing in the middle, would downcast my eyes so as not to see the pain in the eyes of those watching. This is how I kept my silence. I know not the many different instruments used that sought to bring forth from me some acknowledgement of the pain being administered; I only know that the hand that wielded each was fierce and unrelenting. This continued until the sun was only colors across the sky, the slaves were dispersed to go about their duties, and I was retired to my cell in the depths of the compound. I was kept apart from the others, alone and in darkness, only Mistress Setsuke came below and only to bring me my only meal, rouse me for training, or chain me to the walls of my cell.

~

Throughout my training, I was told stories of the woman who had given birth to me.

It was said that she was the Masters favored for sometime and had betrayed him with another slave. This slave was my father, I was told, and had been released to his homelands, falling out of Master's graces-which were few. It was deemed that my Mother had seduced the poor man. Upon my birth, she gave me to Mistress Setsuke, not wanting a child; more specifically a girl child. Master would often say to me, "Do you see how I have taken you in, cared for you and trained you, as your Mother failed to? Be thankful for what I have given you, and remember where your loyalties lie.." The amount of hatred and anger that coursed through me from the time I was small...I cannot even fathom it now. It is what kept me alive, I know that now. By the time my training was complete and I was released to my first task as a mercenary, I was seething with such deep-seeded hatred, that I was blinded by it. My first task, was to kill my "father". He was not skilled in the ways of battle, his death came quickly, and I was unsatisfied. I returned to my Master a failure in my own eyes, I had killed too quickly. Though I had actually succeeded, I was punished none-the-less.

~

Again I trained, longer, harder - with never any compensation for all that I retained, only punishment. This branded into my mind, that even for things well done there was punishment. I thought this so for all the outside world as well. I had much more to learn. "The time has come girl, that you should choose a mate," Master said to me one afternoon as he walked with my Mistress and I to the arena. "This day you will choose of three that I regard as the most worthy." This kept my silence that day through the torments Mistress Setsuke delivered to my body. Before I retired to my cell that eve, those 'worthy' were brought before me. I remember only that the first two disgusted me..but the third..he was a wolf, though I sensed more, and it was he I chose.

I gave forth a son, early Erastide as rains and lightening broke the morning. He was borne Stormlight, for the lightening that gave me light to see him amidst the storm. His small hand brushed mine ever so briefly, and Mistress Setsuke carried him off. I called after them, my answer severe. For eight days of training, I was not brought a meal, nor did I retire below to my cell, but was set out in a wooden cage in the middle of the arena. I was washed of the wanting to see my son...

~

I was sent out again, and this my most trying task. Slay my Mother. Mistress Setsuke had been sent before me, and had not returned, the duty now fell on me. I was told that I would find her at a haven known as The Green Dragon Inn. I was surprised to enter it's realm, and hear her call me to her. She knew I had come for her, this I did not understand. I thought her a coward, yet she beckoned Death.

Her Death too was quick, though the details are buried and in truth I only remember those things that I learned as she lay dying in my arms. The being that I called Master, was in fact my Father. Her shared memories were brief, for her soul was escaping...I have only grieved once in my life, and it was for she.

~

I understand now why I awaken to my name whispered to me by my Mother, to remind me of who I am, and who I come from. Her last words to me, on her last breath, these I shall remember, for they taught me mercy. "Flinteye, you are my Daughter and my love for you has no conditions or limits. I forgive you..."

KAI 04/99